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Friday, August 31, 2012

Near Ugly-Cry at the Dentist

..but not for reasons you'd think..  I mean, I don't like the dentist, but I don't usually CRY there.


 First full-sized quilt that I made for my Kindergartner.. when he was two.


 You see, I thought I'd made it through the first week of KG w/o the ugly-cry that I'd heard most moms talking about. You know, the ones that moms have after dropping off their baby for their very first day of school...  Didn't have it.  Not at all. 


Second quilt I made for him, I Spy, handquilted, when he was three.

 Until yesterday.  In public.  At the dentist. Of all places.

Minky blanket I made for him as a baby..he slept with it til he moved into a twin bed.

I picked my son up from school, and had to hurry to drop him off at home, before leaving immediately for my appointment. 


With his preschool besties at Halloween party last year.

On the way home, I asked him about his day, etc.  In which it came out that he stood by the fence during recess, "Looking for the car."  What car?  Some certain make or color of car that he likes?  No.  "OUR CAR, Mommy."


So excited to receive his own toilet paper for Christmas last year.. if you missed that post, read why it was on his Christmas list here.

My son was standing on the grass by the fence, looking through the chain links, watching to see if I'd drive by.  During recess.  When he's supposed to be playing. It made me so sad to picture him doing that..  I just wanted to come in with him, hug him, make him a sandwich, and watch a cartoon with him.. but had to rush out the door again.  Oh, and on my way out, he says to me, "Please come back as soon as you possibly can, Mommy."


posing with a Swoon block this spring

And then I drove off, mad at myself for having an appointment on that day, of all days.  Then I got to the dentist, went back to the exam room, sat in the chair blinking back tears.  Oh no... oh no.  Could this be the elusive first day of school cry that I haven't had yet?  Then the asst. comes in and asks me how I'm doing?  Notices my  sniffles that I'm trying to stifle, and is so empathetic, it makes me feel like I'm going to start sobbing.. she's handing me tissues..  I'm crying.. then the dentist comes in and wants to know what's wrong.  


Scratching our dog's name in the dirt at the dog park.

Oh boy.  I couldn't tell him.  I told him to have the asst tell him b/c I just couldn't say it again without sobbing.. so the asst. recounts my story about the chain link fence to the dentist, first day of school last week, blah blah, while I'm crying and trying not to cry harder... 

Um.  Is this as awkward for you to read about as it was for me to cry at the dentist? lol  I have such a headache today, too.. I think from all the tears that wanted to come out yesterday that I was able to stifle back and hold in.  Perhaps I need to go lock myself in the bathroom to cry them all out and get rid of them.


Where he scratched 'I (heart) MOM' in the dirt at the dog park.

We really had a great first week. He loves school.. He likes his teacher..  But apparently I had been suppressing some feelings about it.  And they found their way out.  At the wrong time.  And in the wrong place. lol  One of the other moms I'm friends with from the preschool class last year said that she had an ugly cry at the post office one day.  At least I'm not the only one, huh?

*Sorry no new quilty photos to post today, if you're new here from the giveaways blog hop, Welcome.  I scattered a few photos in here and there--thanks for going down memory lane with me for a bit.*

Have a great weekend!
xoxo

34 comments...:

Poor thing. You can't control when it is going to hit you the hardest. I had to leave my youngest at COLLEGE, and I didn't boo hoo until the following Friday. I NEVER cry, except at movies. I was crying while trying to make an appt with the doc. Love that little one over the long weekend, and plan a little something special for after school on Tuesday.

krista said...

awwwww! that's rough. mine always come out at the wrong time wrong place too, like at work, lol. i'll hide in my office and hope no one drops in on me, although that happened once too! nothing weirder for guy coworkers than to walk in on a girl crying... they have NO idea what to say and just want to get the hell outta there!

that story about the fence during recess sure would have hurt my heart, too. i'm glad he's adjusting though, school will be fun in no time!

Oooohhhh. :-(
From what you´ve told us I´m sure he will do fine (and I still love the toiletpaper story and enjoyed to see your avatar quilt)

Kristy QP said...

Awww! Isn't it awful when the crying happens in public!! Hope that the rest of your week was a bit less stressful!

My eldest starts Kindy next year. Pretty sure I'm going to be one of those crying mums too!

shez said...

awww Kelli thats a gut wrenching story,i nearly cried.xx

Mrs A said...

Our son moved back home after a about a year away, its nice to have him home again, I did miss him!

(((((Kelli))))

Kids have a way with them, don't they?

My youngest granddaughter told my daughter earlier this week that she missed her mom at school and felt like crying....

My daughter hugged her and cried, Chloe cried... and then I cried when my daughter told me the story...

Kristen said...

First day of school is always hard for me. It is sixth grade now and I made it without crying this year..did great all week, until dinner tonight. I slobbered through my spaghetti and my husband told me we were going to go get some meds (antidepressants)...I just smiled through the tears and reminded him it was the first week of school. Hugs honey, it will get better...at least I hope so by the time I have a senior.

My baby (now 13) went to her first day of school with her grandparents in TX while I was back in UT packing up our house to move back. I cried ALL THE TIME. Grocery store, walking to get the mail, library. It was awful. I feel your pain.
She was a trooper and could only talk about the plane ride. :)
Thanks for sharing.

Sharon said...

Aw...bless your heart. When those tears are ready to come, you just can't stop them. I recently had a dentist appt and somehow ended up telling the asst. about my mom passing away last year and ended up crying too! So, you aren't the only one to cry in a dentist's chair that had nothing to do with physical pain. {{Hugs}}

Carla said...

I understand how you were feeling. When my first started school, I cried. When my last one started, I threw a party!

You poor thing! What a time and place for the big cry.

I had one today. My daughter had a rough first week at Kindergarten, so I was relieved yesterday when she had no tears for the first time as I walked out the door of her classroom. Today, she was doing so well as I left and I caught a glimpse of her running across the playground as I walked away. She turned to look at me as as she ran, smiled and gave me a tiny wave. In that moment my heart squeezed so tight I thought It would break. My little girl is growing up. Spreading her wings. And beginning to soar. Im so proud of her, yet in some ways so sad at the same time. Man, this mommy business is tough sometimes!

You're not alone hon. Yes locking yourself in the bathroom can help but if you're anything like me... my two clowns are heading back Tuesday and they're going into grades 3 & 5 {I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about it}
What can we say, we're Moms and we are not alone!

I think we have all been there. Just know that someday you will be able to laugh about it without being embarrassed.

Oh Kelli! I feel so bad for you! At the Dentist...of all places!!! I do have a word that might help you. Shower!! Take a hot shower and cry your eyes out. It will help! YEARS ago I went though that...my daughter is 26 now...I do remember those days. Those are the days you'll never forget. Also, I read over on Jen's blog about Buster and his bad grooming experience. That is just awful!!! For you, for Buster, and for your family! That's not usually like a Newf...at all. Maybe try a different groomer...I have tried about four different ones. I have a favorite...one that I truly wished lived right next door...but she lives too far away and both the girlz flip OUT when I leave them anywhere, so the closest groomer to my house gets the job...although I try to do the in between jobs myself!! Have a good weekend Kelli and I hope the grooming issue gets solved!!
xo
Jeanne

Maria said...

Oh Kelli you are not the first one to do this and definately won't be the last...
I nearly cried too thinking of your little fella looking through the fence...
Big Hugz
Maria

Heidi said...

Lol. I got teary but had to laugh. I know exactly what you are talking about. I made it to day 3 of kindergarten before I cried. And it was a call from my mom that got it out of me.

Now he's entering 7th grade and I've secretly wondered to myself if I can drop him off the night before... Just kidding... Kinda. But it's been a long summer with a 13 yr old who has let me know how much more he knows than I do.

I love all the quilts you have made him. So adorable. Enjoy these days!!!

Oh Kelli, I feel your pain. There is no way of knowing when those tears will hit. My baby starts Kinder in Feb and I am already have tears and she is not there yet. I think it's more for me that she is the last and I am not ready to let go. Being a mum is hard yet so rewarding at the same time. You have such a sweet young man xx

jen said...

Awww, Kelli, now you made me cry! I'm glad A had a good first week, I think school is harder on us than it is on them! When Bobby was in preschool he would cry when I left, it was horrible! The teacher would tell me to make the drop off quick, not to hang around. 1/2 the time I would sit in the car in tears! It got better after a few weeks but it was so emotional!

I read your comment about Buster and the groomer, I;m sorry to hear that he doesn't like it so much!
How old is Buster? I forget. My first thought is that maybe he is uncomfortable, maybe standing so long is painful in some way for him. as you know, it takes a long time to bathe and groom a Newf, maybe he just needs a break in between to relax a bit.Maybe they could bathe him, dry him a bit, give him a break and then resume?Maybe they could work from back to front instead of front to back?(assuming that's how they do it)

Oh, you poor thing!!! I had a similar episode only I was in the chair at the beauty salon, having my hair done!!!

Shows you are a good/fun mommy, he missed you!!!

Oh, Kelli!! It is so hard on moms when their little chicks aren't so little any more! I must warn you...these aren't limited to when our chicks are little! When I dropped my daughter off at the airport last year for her deployment to Afghanistan, she kept after me not to cry, so I held it in. I went directly from the airport to the quilt shop to pick up my sewing machine - she was in the shop for cleaning and oiling...fell apart there - embarrassing for us moms as we think we have more control than that!! ((((hugs))))

Pokey said...

Oh, my! I'm sorry for the day, Mommy, but it will get better! Isn't it cool that he misses you at this point? I have been there, but then again each child is different. My pain came when we go to the door of class, and she hollers out "'Bye, Mom"- what happened to Momma?- as she runs off, and that was carelessly tossed over her shoulder?!?
Remember, I'm a teacher, and at the same school, so there was the fact that she knew where I would be, and she would rather be in this room with toys and other kids!
And when she got to be in third grade, there's the time she said, "You know, Mom, some kids GET to go to day care EvErY day", to which I replied, "I bet they don't get a choice!"
The Bible says, "This too shall pass"....
:-}pokey

Melody said...

A heart breaking beautiful story

I feel like crying reading that! They can definitely pull on your heart strings can't they?! I thought my son was starting back tomorrow and just found out it's Wednesday so I'm going to enjoy that bit more time but I know I'll be sobbing too. To be fair I can start at most things at the moment, hormones and all, and nearly cried on my next door neighbour but managed to suck it up until later!! It's good to get those feelings out and know that he only wants to be with you because you are an awesome mum!

mahoo said...

You poor girl! Hugs to you and that wee man. We all do that ugly cry at least once when they head off, don't feel bad.

Oh man, that is rough! I have no kids, but I have had an ugly cry at work once, thankfully in a meeting room with only 2 other people, but still mortifying!

Oh Kelli, beautiful story and I cried with you! I've had many public ugly cries at the airport saying good buy to my husband not knowing when I will see him next. People from all over the world have seen me in tears. Dont have kids yet, but I will think of you when it's my first time leaving them.

Awww, I hope it gets easier soon xx
P.S. If it's any consolation the teachers probably also feel like crying ;o)

Well, you are a great story teller...you made me cry too!

Hope week 2 is better & that you had some great time together over the weekend!

Well it looks like you have an awful lot of us bawling now! :) You're in good company! That first day of school ugly cry happened to me on the curb of the school. I could not see well enough to drive home. I hate to tell you, it won't be the last time either. When we first saw our boy after Marine boot camp, it was bad. Now he'll soon be home from Afghanistan. I'll be easy to spot son: I'll be the puddle on the floor of the Parade Deck. I'm so glad that y'all had a good week. New adventures lie ahead for both of you!

Shanley said...

I believe in crying when it's called for and this sounds like one of those times.

Raewyn said...

O Kelli - it sounds like a jolly good cry was well called for. It will get easier - and it will happen again and isn't it just wonderful that we can love so much?

OMG. I got through this entire day (G's first day of K) without crying and now I am bawling hysterically. The photos are what did it for me. Thanks a lot. That was hilarious, poignant, and fantastic.

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